Molding of a child’s self worth, raising a confident child, starts in his formative years where the parents are the major role players. The parent’s positive reinforcements will determine how a child feels about himself and the others around him. Parents and other caregivers have an important role to play in raising a confident child who will know he can do things by himself and for himself to meet his needs. Lin Buress in her article entitled Improving Self-Esteem in Kids says: “The overall happiness and success of children primarily depends on parents building self-confidence in their children, as having high self-esteem will have tremendous impact on a child’s success and independence as adults.”
Being your child’s selective cheerleader will help him have faith in his abilities and be eager to tackle new risks. Being overboard and cheering 24/7 will result in an arrogant or conceited individual that not many people will like. On the Kidshealth site their article Developing Your Child’s Self-Esteem explains: “It’s important for parents to identify kids’ irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they’re about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids.”
How Do Parents Achieve a Happy Balance Between Praise and Constructive Criticism
Always make your child feel loved. They must feel that they are loved unconditionally and that your love does not waver on how successful he is or how well he accomplishes things.
The golden rule in building self worth in a child is to start early and to always be truthful. Any event during childhood is a great opportunity to start boosting your child’s view of himself. You want the youngster to feel proud and pleased with himself not just to feel he pleased his parents. However, only give praise when it is warranted. The praise must be sincere because in his heart he will know if he has earned it.
Be selective and truthful with your praise as well as with your criticism. You must applaud your child’s efforts and improvements but be realistic. This constant pouring of praise can backfire and result in a spoiled, awful child who has no regard for others nor their feelings. At all times, strive for a healthy balance between praise, helpful criticism and knowing when to let it go.When celebrating an achievement, praise the positive steps, the preparation, the persistence on your child’s part that made this a success. By pointing these out, it arms him with tools for the sub conscience for getting the next project done right.
- Tip the balance in your child’s favor, plan activities in an area you know your child is good. His skill in this activity will give you the opportunity to praise him and a feeling of accomplishment on his part.
- Make sure your child knows his strengths.
- Let them be themselves do not try to mold them into a preconceived notion of a child you dreamed you would have.
- Plan age-appropriate responsibilities around the house to provide opportunities to experience success.
- Frame for success with confidence-boosting activities especially to turn things around if your child shows signs of low self-esteem.
- Look constantly to give positive affirmation of his qualities, attempts and achievements.
- Make your child feel loved and lovable this paves the way to better relationships and success at school.
Let’s face it, parenting is a difficult job. It is perhaps the most difficult job you will have. Getting it right is not always easy. The fact that you are reading this post means you have all the good intentions and you are on the right track. With the wealth of information now at our finger tips, I hope you will make use of the parenting advice available and that your child will grow up to be confident, capable, and contented!